She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
