He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My orgasm happened in two different decades
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
