I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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