it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
