He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
