Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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