I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
