Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
