You're my little dorito
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
