I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
