She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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