I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
where are you?
Hypothermia
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize