I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
