Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
