i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
