You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
