forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
