I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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