Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
