ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
