If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You left your phone here
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