I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
