Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
