thus making me awesome and them whores
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
