I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize