hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
