I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
