I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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