Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
