my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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