"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
