i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just cropdusted the office
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Randomize
