I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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