Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
