I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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