why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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