he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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