whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
