I want to stick my p in your. b.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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