I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
