so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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