He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
