The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
