I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
