What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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