An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
