But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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