I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
