I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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