some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
