Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
