His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
