im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
