I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
