just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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