Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I skipped work to stalk him.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you traded sex for a burrito?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
