real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
