i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
